I read the article below by Jameela Jamil and it really hit home! I’ve been feeling really low lately as I am missing someone who I was exceptionally close with. It’s hard, it feels like your going through a break up! Sometimes the hardest thing is wandering if they are thinking the same thing, or if they have forgotten about you altogether!
'We grow out of clothes, bed-time stories, boybands, braiding your entire head, sleeping in your parents’ bed, boyfriends, marriage even, and nobody blinks an eye. In fact it’s actually pretty well- documented how to deal with all of the above.
But for some reason, nobody tells you what to do when you outgrow your friends. I’ve only really been grown-up enough to experience this to its most painful extent in the past six years. It’s different when school separates you because then it’s out of everyone’s hands, and nobody holds it against one another so much. But why doesn’t anyone prepare you for outgrowing your friends as adults? And why is it SO much more awkward and politically incorrect than when you want to break up with a lover?
Things happen, like jobs, boyfriends, babies, travel, hobbies, habits and general life sometimes gets in the way. They change you every day, especially after your early teens, because you become less adaptable. Like a jelly, you start to set in the shape you will be for the rest of your life. It’s not possible to always fit the same people as you once did.
As with lovers, it is in fact possible to just be friends with a person for a certain quota of your life. Friendships, like relationships, often have sell-by dates. At one point in time, during a certain phase in your life, you were suitable for one another.
Thankfully, I made most of my friends after the age of 20, so I had a fairly good idea of our compatibility, and 90 per cent of my friendships, I can foresee lasting longer than my teeth. But a couple have slipped through the net lately. I’ve lost my connection with a couple of my closest friends. I don’t know how it happened, but it’s no different from falling out of love. There is no incident, anger, or blame – it’s just a silent, weak parting of ways.
Suddenly you are looking at that person you once considered one of your limbs and you just think, “I have no idea who you are.”. It’s the worst feeling. But who are you to expect them to revert to the person you initially became friends with, and who are they to expect the same of you? Life is about growth and change.’
I can relate a lot to this article, I just hope in this particular case it isn’t true, and one of us is brave enough to make the first move :(